End this please.

I have so many secrets,
So many things I've hidden from people,
So many people I've hidden from others.
I want it to stop but don't know how to make it stop.
I'm finding happiness in my own way,
Trying to live through all of this,
But I then remember that thing in the back of my mind,
That haunts me,
That thing that has made me how I am,
That thing that dictates which way I go.
I want to let it go.
I want to be free of it.
But I don't know how.
And no one else knows how either.
I need someone to tell me how they've done it.
Someone to show me how to erase the pain,
Someone to find the new me, the old me, the love that I used to have for myself,
Because now, I have no love for myself.
I can't look at myself,
I don't know who I am.
Everyone sees me as one thing,
Which I am not.
End this please.

Ah

Just breathe.

That's all I need to do.

Today..

Well, day number 2 of this. :)

Today was okay.

Watching Modern Family right now, heard it was good.

I love how I post like today is over, when it's only 1/2 done.

Work tonight, four hours... which will feel like 20 hours!
Hopefully I get that raise today, I could deal with that.

Uh, that's about it.

Confused...?

Let me start this with what's going on in my mind right now.


Firstly, my crush has somewhat stepped over a line a bit. And has cheating on his girlfriend with a girl that doesn't deserve boys/girls/more than being locked in her room with a lock on her vag. :)
It's sad.

Secondly, after a really bad relationship... I broke up with my boyfriend. Relief but sadness is coming over me. I like him just wish he wasn't like he is with a few things he does.

And lastly, I'm just stressed out. Too many things to do, so little time.

That's it for now.